


Flashes

by The_Fangirl_Sunstorm



Category: Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi | Spirited Away
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Chihiro is in highschool, F/M, Friendship, Post-Canon, Reunions, Spirited Away - Freeform, Teenagers, chihiro and haku reunion, not sure how the education system differs in Japan, or at least is highschool aged, romantic subtext, temporary memory loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:33:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29268027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Fangirl_Sunstorm/pseuds/The_Fangirl_Sunstorm
Summary: As Chihiro watches, a silvery fish darts through the silt at the river’s bottom, stirring the muck of mud and plants. An image flashes in her head, of a mud monster and a terrible smell, and she shakes her head to clear it.
Relationships: Haku | Nigihayami Kohakunushi & Ogino Chihiro, Haku | Nigihayami Kohakunushi/Ogino Chihiro
Comments: 5
Kudos: 52





	Flashes

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t usually write in the present tense but I wanted to try and pull the reader into a more ‘stream of consciousness’ headspace for this one, experiencing it with the characters. I’m not sure I totally succeeded, but I hope some of you give it a chance anyway.

Chihiro sits on an outcropping of rock by the river’s side, letting her feet dangle into the cool water and soaking in the peaceful atmosphere. The summer heat has been merciless all week, so she is near bliss to have found this little patch of shade and solitude; a winding river through the forest a short drive from her house. 

She wishes for a moment that she had remembered her bathing suit, and thinks of jumping in anyway, but the desire is kept at bay by the murkiness of the water. She’s never been squeamish, but the last thing she needs is to ruin her clothes and face her mother’s disapproval. Instead, the teen contents herself with stretching out in the shade and looking at the water below her.

As she watches, a silvery fish darts through the silt at the river’s bottom, stirring the muck of mud and plants. An image flashes in her head, of a mud monster and a terrible smell, and she shakes her head to clear it. 

The flashes have been happening more and more as of late. Little moments in time so vivid that they feel like memories, though what she sees is so impossible that she knows they can’t be. 

This time she’s aware of a smell like rotting fish and sewage and every other horrible odor she can think of. She feels her skin covered in slimy mud, and sees a monster’s face in front of her. Chihiro flinches in fear and revulsion, but the sensation is gone as quickly as it had come.

The flashes always leave quickly, so quickly that she often doesn’t remember having them in the first place. Sometimes she tries to hold them in her mind, but they always slip away before she can make sense of them. They become blurry, like the edges of a dream just after waking, before disappearing into fuzziness. The only thing that remains is an ache in her chest, a restlessness she can’t name. 

“What’s happening to me? Am I going crazy?” Chihiro says aloud to the riverbanks as the latest flash recedes, taking the memory with it. There is no reply except for a light breeze shifting the grass beside the water. 

She wracks her brain for the source of the feeling, some forgotten task or memory that would explain the deep sense of _‘something missing_ ’ at her core, but as always she comes up empty. 

Chihiro lets out a deep sigh, leaning back on her elbows. The teenager looks up at the patches of sky between the tree branches above her, the curling whisps of clouds that will hopefully bring rain in the near future.

Another flash, this time the feeling of wind in her hair and something warm below her, of silver scales and of being very high up in the air, invades her senses. Instead of being afraid, she feels a strange joy curl in her chest. She tries to understand it, because something about this time feels more _important_ than the other ones. She thinks for a moment that she isn’t alone in this flash, that someone or something is with her but as soon as she does the feeling is gone. 

Frustrated, she closes her eyes, trying to force clarity into the jumble in her head. _There must be a reason I feel this way_. She thinks to herself, but if there is it refuses to make itself known. 

Chihiro tilts her head toward the water again and her purple hair tie flashes gold in the sunlight. She studies it in the water’s reflection, the way that the simple string catches the light. She’s had it for a very long time, but can’t remember who gave it to her. Chihiro reasons that the accessory must have been a gift from a friend, since she’s never seen anything like it in the store. It’s always felt _special_ somehow, and she’s taken to wearing it as a good luck charm, in her hair or on her wrist like a bracelet when she lets her brown hair hang freely (something it is far too hot outside to do today.)

Chihiro is distracted from her thoughts by the sound of leaves crunching underfoot. She looks up to see a boy her age on the other riverbank, having just emerged from the forest. She waves shyly to him, but stops as she takes in his appearance.

The boy is taller than her, and has green hair with ends that brush along his cheekbones and down to his jaw. His eyes are a similar shade of green, as if he had been fashioned with the river grass between them. She catches herself thinking that it would not surprise her if he had, that there was something about him that seemed not quite grounded in reality, before she is pulled under by a flash more vivid than any she has had before. This boy but younger, holding her hands and smiling at her as if she is the most important thing in the world, as the two both fall together in the sky. She feels the sensation of the freefall tugging in her gut, and the weightlessness dislodges a confession from the walls of her mind. 

Chihiro grasps at the thought, certain that it will be taken from her at any moment, but for the first time the memory does not fade, even as the feeling of falling leaves her chest. She stares at the boy incredulously, and finds that he is looking back at her with just as much intensity.

The boy’s expression is a complicated jumble of emotions as Chihiro surveys him. She manages to pick out happiness and relief, nervousness and caution and touches of sadness before she manages to break the trance they both seem to be under. 

“Hello?” She says, her own mixed emotions making the greeting sound like a question. The boy stiffens, as if remembering himself for the first time. He seems, _surprised_ somehow by her appearance, as if she looked as strange to him as he did to her. 

“Hello.” He returns and his eyes are expectant, waiting for her to say more. 

Chihiro feels the confession pushing at the corners of her mind, a building sense of familiarity and certainty in her chest, solid ground where before there had only been whispers and smoke. She barely has the time to fashion it into a question before it is released, though somehow she already knows the answer.

“Do I know you?” She asks him. He smiles a smile that seems both old and young at the same time.

“Do you want to?” He asks her, sounding both happy and sad. His face is open and vulnerable, and Chihiro finds herself wanting to go to his side. She stands up to do just that, but he holds out a hand as if to say _‘wait’_ and she pauses.

She realizes that he is waiting for an answer. Chihiro searches her mind for any feeling of hesitation, but any confusion she may have felt is swept away. She doesn’t understand, not really, but something deep inside of her is stirring, awakening from long dormancy. She feels the _transformation_ of it under her skin, and realizes that she doesn’t want it to stop.

_“Yes.”_ She tells him with certainty. He smiles again, like he did in her memory. With genuine joy, as if she had given him a priceless gift. 

Slowly, as if afraid that she would startle and run like a wild animal if he moves too fast, the boy removes his shoes and wades into the water. She watches as he crosses the river, and takes a step back on the riverbank to give him room as he joins her on the other side. He puts his shoes back on, and Chihiro notices that his clothes are dry again. 

Everything about him seems impossible, and yet she feels nothing but warmth in her chest as his eyes met hers again. 

“May I?” He asks her, and she nods despite not knowing what he means. Perhaps another girl would be more cautious, more afraid, but she trusts him. He is familiar in a way that makes her heart ache with longing to remember as he stretches his hand ever so gently and pulls the purple tie free of her hair. Chihiro’s hair falls loose around her shoulders but she barely notices the change, entranced by the strange boy as he moves to grab both her hands in his own, the hair tie gripped between both their palms. 

He looks into her eyes intently and speaks a single word, “Remember,” into the heat of the summer day that she no longer feels amidst the buzzing atmosphere between them.

And she _does_.

The memories flow back into her like the tide crashing into the shore. There is so much that it almost overwhelms her, but the boy in front of her grips her hand firmly, as if holding her steady. His name floats to the surface, and she lets out a sound that is half-laughter and half-tears. 

“Haku.” Chihiro says with wonder, testing the sound of it on her tongue. “Haku,” she says again, this time with joy and relief. 

_I remember, I remember_ , she feels her heart cry out, and the teen doesn’t waste another second before throwing herself into his arms. He grips her tightly and pure joy fills her chest.

Chihiro breaks away from the embrace to look at him again with new eyes, to see how the years have changed her friend. He looks older, and she wonders if he aged like she did, or if he could choose his form. Regardless, he looks happier, more free than she has ever seen him, and the smile on his face threatens to split it in half. 

“It’s really you.” Chihiro says. 

“Yes Chihiro, it’s me.” He says, seeming to revel in the ability to say her name again as much as she did his. “I’m sorry it took me so long to keep my promise. But I’m here now.” 

“I forgot you.” She says, as much to herself as to him. “How could I possibly forget everything that happened to me?”

“It was to be expected,” the river god says, “It’s hard for humans and the spirit world to mix. Your body would have naturally let those memories sink into the subconscious after you returned to the mortal world.”

“You knew then,” she realizes, “you knew I’d forget you. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to make you sad,” Haku says, with a bittersweet smile that makes her remember how old he really is, how many years of life are hidden behind his eyes and boyish features, “and I thought you deserved a chance at a normal life.”

Chihiro thinks of the years since their last meeting, of the strange flashes and the missing feeling in her chest ever since she had returned. 

_“I missed you.”_ She says. “Even when I had forgotten you it always felt like something wasn’t quite right. Now I know why. I’m _so glad_ to see you again.” She pauses to take him in again, and to think about what he said. “What made you change your mind then, what made you want to see me again?”

For the first time Haku seems a bit sheepish. Wordlessly, he hands her back her hair tie before replying, and Chihiro places the forgotten item back on her wrist. “The truth is, I’ve been keeping my eye on you for a while now. After I freed myself from Yubaba’s service I went to stay with Zeniba, to learn enough magic to exist in the human realm without my river to tie me to the Earth. She taught me how and I would visit you sometimes, out of sight. I wanted to make sure you were safe and happy. I’d noticed you were struggling but I didn’t know why until you asked if you were crazy just now. I realized that your memories must be surfacing, probably the product of my being around you so much. I thought of going back, but I didn’t want to leave you alone, thinking you were going insane. I’m sorry if I ruined things by making you remember, I didn’t want to intrude on your life here but I missed you too, more than I can say.”

“Don’t be sorry.” She says. For the first time in a long time, she feels at peace, whole and complete. _“Thank you.”_

She smiles at him, brighter than the sun and he smiles back. 

“I won’t forget again will I?” She asks, suddenly anxious. 

“That depends I suppose, on what you want.” Haku replies. “If I leave now and stop visiting you, there’s a chance your memories could fade again, though now that I’ve called them to the surface I don’t know if they’re capable of that.” 

“No.” Chihiro says before he can continue. “I don’t want to forget ever again.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to make your life harder, you deserve to be happy.” Haku’s face is serious, she can tell he means every word. If he thought he was a burden to her, he would leave. The thought makes her suddenly determined to change his mind.

“You make me happy.” She says, insistent. “I refuse to lose you again.”

Something flashes in Haku’s eyes then, something warm and protective and Chihiro feels her heart flutter at the sight. The feeling is strange but pleasant. 

“Alright.” The water dragon concedes. “I’ll stay then.” 

They’re both free, him from Yubaba and her from the flashes, from the longing that had plagued her for so long and Chihiro can’t help but take a moment to revel in the change, at the _rightness_ of them being together again. 

Right then and there Chihiro promises herself that she will never let him go again.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chihiro comes to the river every day that summer, and she finds him waiting for her on the riverbank every time. Sometimes they talk, sometimes they swim, sometimes they just sit in comfortable silence. It’s always perfect. 

It’s not long before her face starts heating up when she looks at him, or before his gaze starts to hold something she can’t quite define, something _more_ than she thought they could ever be. 

One day they are sitting on the riverbank together, legs dipped into the water and staring up at the sky, and she turns to look at Haku. In the summer sun his skin seems almost to glow, though his hair remains the color of river plants. She thinks that he is the most perfect thing she has ever seen.

After all they had been through, both together and in their time apart, it seems like nothing at all for Chihiro to lean into him, to tilt her face up to meet his. He searches her expression for a moment, before his eyes light up in need and understanding. Haku leans downward to brush his lips gently against hers. 

He tastes like the river and like the wind when they fly together. Like new beginnings. 

The kiss only ends because she can’t stop smiling. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Kudos, comments, and constructive criticism are all welcome.


End file.
